4Track Politics

What's the deal with Robert Mueller's name?

AP / Washington, D.C

11/19/2017

Robert Mueller may have made news with the latest indictments this week, but as he makes bigger headlines, news anchors from print to public radio are asking each other "why doesn't his name sound like it looks?"

Up until now, the former combat Marine and appointed special counsel's greatest feat was convincing the American public that the 'E' in his name was silent. Why didn't they fix that at Ellis Island? Chances are good they're the ones who put it in in the first place.

Local content king Jack Dwyer of some city that you've heard of says, "I don't get why all those journalists don't just get together once a week and agree on how they're going to pronounce shit."

As of press time, sources confirmed that Mueller was considering charges against all who are mad about his name, including potentially himself.